Action Jackson

This picture makes me look cool - hence why I put it up here. After all, I have to at least give the impression that I am out and about winning the war "Jack Bauer" style. No I'm not running, no the hooded idiots aren't shooting at me. The truth is that I am walking back to my ride - but that probably isn't what ya'll wanted to hear. At any rate, this is all just filler b/c I'm doing my best not to talk about the Padres. However, you know I can't resist ... Milton Bradley? And no, I'm not talking about the board game company ... Monopoly, Life, Clue, etc ... Is that the best that we can do? I guess it is more of a comment about how much the Padres and other organizations value pitching. KT has said time and time again that he is not going to break up his major league pitching talent. I'm on board with our baseball philosophy ... its just that the lure of that one big bat is a tad overwhelming, if not entirely fantasy. In the end good pitching beat good pitching. I'd just be nice to have a little more cushion. Unfortunately, Sledge isn't the answer ... and by my calculations he is on the way out. I think the Padres aren't done, though ... I see them moving someone else for minor league talent ... they need the roster flexibility. My guess? Sledge, Branyan, or Blum ... in that order.

Today, I got back on the civics syllabus w/ yet another meeting w/ the Fallujah Iraqi Police leadership. We can talk for hours about the correct answer - but is anyone going to go against the fact that money talks? Funny, how we can be in another country, another culture, and have many fundamental disagreements; yet, when it comes time to produce "money talks." I can't really go into what we were talking about ... but it is that same old Jerry McGuire adage ... show me the money! You mean to be surprised when millionaires - read Paris Hilton - get treated differently than the average person? The audacity ... Even with that said, the local police have their heads on straight and are really thinking about the long term (read post American presence) rather than the temporary stop-gap. It goes to show that we are pleased to be a position of dealing w/ honest men or are trying to do the right thing. It makes things a little bit easier to deal with on a daily basis.

Now back to my mundane paperwork and PowerPoint adventures ... the life of the real staff officer.

Well rested

So much for my vacation ... I'm back in the posting business - everyone can rejoice. Yeah right. I spent the day sleeping (although not consecutively). Too bad for me.

To my surprise, the Padres won when I didn't write. Now that is what I am talking about. The NL West is as competitive as ever, and taking 2 of 3 from the Giants was a good start. The true test will be when the Friars start play against the stinkin' Dodgers this week. The snakes and rox aren't far off in the distance.

Great two days in the mail realm. I can't tell you how wonderful mail is and I want to thank everyone for thinking of me and the rest of the American forces out here. Some really positive stuff has been happening in Fallujah the past month and half. It is important to me that ya'll know about it - even though the American mainstream media chooses not to report such events. It really is too bad. My point being - the care packages from home remind the young Sailors and Marines that there efforts aren't remiss among the people back home.

And now to the much deserved thank you's:

Courtney - Well done and thank you. I am excited to watch the movie - believe it or not - I've never heard of it. George Clooney - who's he?

Amber and John - very cool - the letters from the Deale Kids is really neat. I'll be sure to follow up with an appropriate written response. Too bad, the kids are out for the summer. I am excited to witness first hand all the upgrades to the casa - exciting times.

Dad - as always, you come off the top rope with cool and exciting gifts. Now if I can just figure out how correctly hit the "birdie balls" - trust me, it is a long work in progress. I somehow doubt, that upon my return, I'll be able to match your skills on the course. Once can only hope.

Mom - 20 pounds of beef jerky? Holy cow - I think that I now have enough to bribe the entire MWF-W population. Thank you very much and I am glad to learn that the summer school ordeal is over. No one needs hassles.

Time is unfortunately short right now. More to follow: thanks again to everyone!

On Vacation

This is my last post for quite some time. Please check back later for more snippets of my adventures.

See what happens when I don't write ...

... the Padres loose. It pains me to write about the Padres loosing and I'm get quite tired of these one run affairs.


The much anticipated cleaning effort was about as fun as chicken pox. From this event, I received my first battle wound - a splinter. And let me tell you, it was the most painful splinter that I have ever had. I just couldn't get it out of my thumb. It was pretty much a nightmare. The corpsman, who was on scene for such a dynamic event, was able to respond with a quickness never seen before and remove the splinter. Upon further review, it was probably was a thorn. Fun times.


I've included some pictures for everyone - I think that they aren't quite fair and seem a little bit more dramatic than they are in person. The one to the left was taken from inside a school classroom of one of the places that we cleaned up. As you can see - Iraqi children aren't any different than children around the world. They seemed generally excited - I'm not so sure that passing out school supplies and soccer balls had anything to do with it!




The next in sequence was taken of the building adjacent to the school house - you don't see any portion of the school in this picture. The school was just remodeled and is quite nice. In the middle of the picture you will see the blast impression from a previous engagement and the associated incendiary damage. Most homes are built with an outer wall - cinder blocks with some plaster-like coating. You'll also notice the constantina wire along the base of the wall in the lower right hand corner. The problem with c-wire is that all the trash gets caught and then the hooded idiots place IEDs in there.

A package this afternoon arrived from the Moody's and what was it you might ask? MONSTERS! As a write this affair, I am drinking my face off and loving every minute. Seriously, ya'll have got to try these things ... they make coffee irrelevant. Thank you very much!

Some things never change

In true military fashion tomorrow is an important day for my Battalion - Trash Clean-up day! Everyone is really amped up and ready to tackle this glorious event. It is one of those things that no one cares about and has to do at the same time. On hand I don't care one bit about the trash situation - knowing full well that we didn't litter the streets. The other hand tells us that it is pretty nasty, unsanitary and all those other things and thus a worthwhile use of time. However, when you get down to the execution phase - who wants to walk around in the heat picking up after other people? I guess it points to my appreciation for the sanitation community of the United States - don't take that as an endorsement for the Tony Soprano's of the world. It is just baffling to think about the true lack of infrastructure of this country called Iraq. Years maybe even a two decades worth of war has taken a toll on the citizens of this country. Every lot is a landfill or a burn pit. I think the only people who are concerned about the trash are the American forces. It gets to the point where I can't help but think, "If they don't care, why should I." Thoughts such as those, lead to the problem b/c then we start to litter and it doesn't help. Naturally, American generated trash is inherently different than the trash the Iraqi's generate. The number one culprit is water bottles. Iraqi's do have a central water system that taps off the Euphrates River. Americana's drink out of one liter bottles of water. Iraqi water is worse than the egg water of Slidell. I digress.

It remains all quiet on the Fallujah front and we're doing everything we can to keep it that way. My Padres looked good last night. I am very excited about the game today. Too bad AFN (military satellite television) isn't televising the game. So what's on in its place? Twins vs. Marlins - exiting match up? I think not. 2 out of 3 - you heard it here first. Finally, for those of you who might be wondering about my Billboard progress ... it is alive and ticking. Estimate for completion is about two years. Anyone crazy enough to go atop a five story building and put up the poster? Dennis, this might be up your boulevard. Let me know.

Saints Jackson Bound

The summer is in full swing and it is certainly an exciting time. First, the Padres face the Red Sox this weekend - in what is sure to be a true leveling stick for just how good the Padres are this year. I say that we take two of the three. Sunday should be awesome with Peavy squaring off against Burnett. In other news, the Saints announced that they will be in Jackson for summer training camp. Jackson isn't a bad little town and for them to be at Millsap’s is good. I'd much rather be in Jackson than Iraq.

My blog entries havne't been very exciting or informative this week. It has been a rather slow time. The ebb and flow of life is no different here in this hot land than say life in Orlando. Ironically, Colleen is off gallivanting around with the Jackson crowd this weekend in Orlando. So how it all ties together? Such literary prose is just natural. Yeah right.

Thank you to Grams and Grancappy for the care package. It contained a plethora of goodies w/ the usual Rawson flare for Knights of Columbus fare. Who doesn't like popcorn and tootsie roles? Mail is still arriving - albeit at my running pace - very slowly. It is interesting how the mail either comes in droves or not at all.

Recently, I've been the desk jockey that we all thought I'd be when I got selected for this assignment. It isn't a whole lot of fun when the most exciting part of the day is an email from an outside source or when you get all fired up about the clock hitting 1800 (email turns on). Interesting when you consider that the alternative is walking around the streets of Fallujah with 70 pounds of gear in what I would term as insane heat. Dry heat is still hot. The "big" project I am trying to figure out is how to put billboards in the city. Seems easy but this isn't Cheyenne, WY where all you do is call 1-800-BIG-SIGN and write a check. I've already chronicled the misery of trying to print regular documents. Increasing the scope with some huge sign - might be a bridge to far. Where is my Saudi benefactor when I need him.

World News details recent coalition strife in Baghdad. That very well might be the case; however, out here in Al Anbar (western province - Ramadi, Fallujah) it has been pretty quiet. I hope that I just didn't jinx us! I would still caution everyone not to go out and buy that priceless vacation to Iraq - just yet ... maybe next year. Plan on going to Des Moines, Iowa instead.

Connectivity

This post isn't up to par. It is hard to invent clever stories w/out proper material. Even Tiger Woods shoots over par sometimes.

Email on a ship is guaranteed to break once a week. It's just a given. Email in Iraq has proven to be quite the opposite. In fact, email has not gone down once. Ok, that's a stretch b/c it is currently down and has been for two days. However, I'll take this opportunity voice pleasure in the Marine's email system. The flip side is that Internet is still up and I'll take the Internet over email any day. The strange part is that this outage only interrupts email to non-military emails. Go figure ... all the regular work related stuff still gets through.

The Padres made a splash this afternoon sending two players to the Cubbies, in what amounts to an exchange of catchers, sending back-up Rob Bowen and a minor leaguer for Michael Barrett. If you recall, Barrett is the guy who always seems to be in a fight - see his altercations with Roy Oswalt, AJ Pierzynski, Carlos Zambrano and Rich Hill. He is an above average bat (right handed power - which is good for PETCO) and well below average defensively. Hell, we had Mike Piazza last year and survived - so I think that if he swings up to his lifetime average it will be a good thing. I don't know anything about the minor leaguer other than he was the #35 overall pick last year (19 year old outfielder). I think that trade makes sense. We'll see how it works out. I read the online rumor mill and it had the Padres in discussion w/ Cincy about Adam Dunn. Padres GM, KT, says the price tag of Hensley, Hampson, and a quality minor leaguer was "not worth talking about." I think that means that the Padres aren't likely to get the big bat prior to the 31 July trade deadline. Surprise, Surprise. Padres value pitching too much and with the best record in th NL - I say that is what he gets paid the big bucks for and that we'll just have to see how it goes. Assuming BGiles gets back sometime soon, the platoon of Sledge and Cruz will remain in left field.

Today I watched a movie Happy Campers and it was terrible. Don't rush to Blockbuster to go rent it - you'll surely be disappointed.

Izzy - best of luck to you and the two little ones back in Texas. Colleen and I are sad to see you and your little ones leave. Ya'll are bombish!

My Top 6

I don't posses the talent of David Letterman and thus, I am struggling to come up with a top 10 list. I'll just settle on the 60% solution.

On a routine basis we interact with members of the Iraqi Police and Iraqi Army. It is always a pretty entertaining affair b/c of the language barrier. Naturally, we strive for common themes and both sides understand some of the basic terminology of the others language. Nevertheless, here is my top 6 list of English words that my compatriots know quite well ... I hope that you find them very entertaining :

6. Chocolate
5. All of the standard curse words (they might as well make the complete list)
4. Israeli’s
3. Hollywood - in the context of that is where all the hot women are
2. Cigarette
1. Ice Cream

The other facet of this affair is the difference in animation of the speaker. The Arabs seem like they are always yelling and making wild gestures with there arms/hands. Writing about it doesn't do any justice. I think that it would be fun to tape the event w/out sound and do a little Mystery Science Theatre 2000 action.

Some various other in's and out's of the day follow:

On Monday's the military TV stations replay the Sunday Morning news shows. Naturally, the talks focus on Iraq. It is surreal to watch people talk about Iraq especially when you consider that only a very precious few have even been to Iraq. To follow that - the ones that have been to Iraq get the VIP tour. Its hard to watch.

New policy on Camp is that you have to work out in the standard green over green outfit. I'm not sure that some of you want to even picture me in that outfit. Let's just leave it at this: the green shorts are made to fit Carmen Electra - not my husky build. I'll expand it to say that I am not thrilled. Despite this policy, I was able to do my best Sean-like work and create a work around - I get to wear my Navy PT gear, as I am not even an attachment to the Battalion. Screw it - who cares USNA still writes my FITREP. It works out well for me ... thank goodness the Navy doesn’t have a standard PT uniform. I guess as long as it says something about Navy or is blue or gold - I'm good to go.

Tomorrow is Turkish Haircut day - fun and exciting times.

Meg, your comment about Muggles - Priceless. Duane, PB4T - quite possibly ones of the funniest things I've heard in a while. Dad - I'm just about out of crayons. BTW spell check isn't working right now - so bare with my less than typing skills. Further, I don't feel like proofreading tonight. I'm going to watch Jackass 2.

I'm just a POG

For the most part I’ve enjoyed my stint with the Infantry Marines, or Grunts as they affectionately are termed. However, that is not to say that I don’t have my moments where I just want to go SWO and blow my lid. Believe it or not I have learned to become fairly docile or even neutral the majority of time. I think this Blog proves my rather nonsensical and light hearted commentary. In fact, several people routinely comment on my usual jovial disposition. I am usually the first to crack off some wise ass comment. At any rate, today I find myself fairly irate. The Grunts have a complex about being superior, so much so that they even make pilots seem normal. That is a pretty big statement. Grunts call everyone else POGs (people other than grunts) or Fobbits (people who don’t leave the “wire”). The Marine culture is such that everyone is designed to support the Infantry.

The Infantry is generally spoiled and routinely allowed to sit back and say not my problem and make the support do everything for them. For the record, yes, I am the part of the support. Being the support is annoying. I would much rather be the man; hence, why being a SWO is a good thing. A LT on a ship runs the joint. A POG 0-3 in an Infantry Battalion might as well take out the trash. As you can imagine this is just generally annoying. It gets to the point where if you stand up to a Grunt and tell them “tough break – it is your problem, fix it” they routinely cry like little kids. Today was just such an occasion. I actually got told by some knucklehead that b/c I was a POG – I don’t know what it is like to put my life on the line and that I needed to do more for him. Are you kidding me? Give me a break. Talk about 7th grade drama

Fast forward to actual issue at hand … it was too difficult for this individual to, no kidding, hit the play button on a public address system. I know that I am my fathers son and prone to exaggeration; however, I can assure you that this was really the discourse of events. I didn’t hit play and don’t ever intend on doing so.

With that said, on to more important matters. Happy Father’s Day! And in my best Bon Jovi yelp - Have a Nice Day! Colleen sent that song to me on my IPod … its rather catchy.

Issues

As if I needed to confirm it - but I am ridiculous. I meant to go to bed hours ago - but here I am up "watching" the Padres vs. Cubs over the Internet. OK, I am not really watching. I am hitting the refresh button on my computer every thirty seconds. With Internet access in Iraq being so limited - all streaming media is administratively blocked. I was checking my email before I went down for the night and of course, I checked on my Padres. Low and behold they are/were playing a day game. Naturally, I had to check the score. I opened up my Internet browser to see CY and Zambrano engaged in the typical low scoring affair. No hits through four. Then I read that CY and D. Lee got into a brawl - my interest was peaked. After the dust settled and I frantically search to find out what happened I checked back to see Zambrano still had a no-hitter through 7. So could I go to bed ... of course not. Now I am hitting refresh like every 10 seconds. So now we fast forward to the 9th and good old Russel Branyan goes deep. Amen Friars. THoff comes in and saves his 19th of the year. I can now go to bed content.

This was truly the highlight of my day. If I could go on a limb - I'd say that it was a good old fashioned lazy Saturday. Now if only Colleen was here!

Sadly, I found out that all fantasy sport leagues - read football - are also blocked? Duane any ideas? I nominate Colleen to be my General Manager. Colleen, you up to the Cha-lange? We'll do it Sudoku style! Duane is going down!

Pictures ...

Hello everyone. Not much to report on today. I spent the majority of the day typing away on the various reports that I had to do for the week. Procrastination is a wonderful thing. I wrote a small novel detailing my various assignments and providing the ever-needed status of things. I love how the proverbial boss always needs the latest assessment - no matter what it is that we are doing.


At any rate, I have included some pictures from earlier this week. I am sure that it will take a while to download via your computer - so please stay patient. It took a fortnight just for me to upload them. They are too large to email given my current settings.

The first picture is of me listening, very closely, to something and
the second is me doing my best to stay awake. Look at that form -
who doesn't love it. Yes, I am wearing a flight suit - and it is painful to admit. However, we wear them b/c they are flame resistant and with IEDs all over the place one of the biggest concerns is that your HUMVEE gets smoked and you are caught in the vehicle. When it comes to staying safe - I am all for it. Even if it means that I have to go over to the pilot side of the house. So there ... whoever said that pilots don't contribute is somewhat wrong!

Enjoying the Porta Johns - Once Again

Obviously, I've been away from my computer for a while. http://www.usmc.mil/ has a story about some of things that my battalion has been doing. Story ID# is 20076124159. I'm told it is the easiest way to search for it. If that doesn't work try Second Battalion 6th Marines.

I'm not exactly sure what the Arabic word alljah means - I'm told it depends on how you say it. Your guess is as good as mine. What is interesting is that if you were to take the the f u out of Fallujah you have alljah. Ironic? So I guess you could say that 2/6 is taking the f u out of Fallujah. Nice, very nice. At any rate, it is a very exciting time, as the citizens of Fallujah are leading the way and are truly responsible for their own security. The people have embraced this concept and doing great things.

And whomever said that sleeping on concrete was fun better go see the doctor. Can I get a chiropractor? I can see my book title now - A yearlong camping trip to Iraq. Sleeping on the floor of abandoned buildings also illustrates just how wonderful plumbing really is. Duane, I haven't talked about plumbing in a while - so this one is for you. Heck after a few days of using "wag bags" I was pleased to return to the stack of porta johns. Listen, all you have to do is lower your expectations ...

Jake Peavy was dominant last night - enough said.

Meg - Thanks for the try w/ Monsters. Go ahead and try them - you'll get all kinds of fired up. Don't worry about it - who knows when the mail arrives. I don' think it would been very fun for the cargo handlers to have to deal with exploded drinks all over the place.

Mr. Herky Jerky is Mr. Bill of Abita Springs. Sorry dad, you can't take credit for that one.

Mr. Smooth Swing - identify yourself

Byron - you may be quite the accomplished futballer; however, the remainder of your athletic prowess still remains on the t-ball fields of Virginia.

Duane - Thanks for the Pro Football Magazine subscription. I think that a Fantasy Football Challenge is being issued right now. Can you handle it?

Padres Leadership - where are my job offers?

Finally, a big Bravo Zulu Mom, glad to see that you are now off and racing in this parallel Internet reality. Looking forward to your comments.

Mail!

To be quite clear - an Eagle, Globe, and Anchor tattoo is not in my future. I'll expand that statement even further - no tattoo of any sort will grace my skin. For a long time now, one of my worst fears in life would be that after a heavy night of tomfoolery, I would wake up with a throbbing pain in my shoulder and look down to see some sort of permanent ink picture affixed to my body. I surmise that one of my Sailors would have convinced me that it was a great idea and I guess in my deteriorated state I agreed. I've managed to stave off that event - even after visiting several third world nations, including Mexico. I plan to keep it that way. Tattoo's are a personal choice and I have no problem with them - it is just not my choice.

Today mail arrived for the first time in almost two weeks. Not real sure what the hold up was - but at any rate, I still give the USPS a thumbs up for keeping the mail wait time down. After all, it isn't like Iraq has a real large infrastructure nor can it control a mail convoy once it arrives. Much to my chagrin, I was once again the envy of the battalion. I had 4 packages waiting for me. Unlike the viewers of the Soprano's finale, or so I've read, I was not left staring into the black hole of imaginary boxes. Thanks for the offer, TJ, but I have to respectfully decline. I'd just rather wait until it comes out on DVD and watch the whole season. However, if you can offer up some baked ziti and red wine - I'll acquiesce.

First, the Long Beach Moody's provided some DVDs and much need drink mix packages. Meg came off the top rope and provided 6 movies, all of which I haven't seen. Not too bad for someone who likes watching tennis on the television. Natchez, MS weighed in with plenty of beef jerky and drink mixes - you'll see a great pattern develop with the drink mixes and jerky. Even Mr. Herky Jerky Golf Swing himself, of Abita Springs came off the golf course with some beef jerky and some CDs! Lastly, Colleen (in her usual form) delivered with a nice sundry mix of items. As sad as it may seem, the best item from her package, was a pair of headphones. Now I can actually listen to music from my IPod in both ears! And yes, she included a plethora of beef jerky and sugar free drink mixes! Thank you all very much. I really appreciate it and I want ya'll to know that getting mail makes my day. It is just something about getting mail that is exciting. I never understood why my Dad was/is habitually crazy about the mail - almost to the point of stalking, asking "Did the mail come? Um, that's interesting, it usually here by now ... I wonder what's wrong?" I can now say that after five deployments - I get it. I guess it all centers around the point that mail is exciting b/c it represents home and hopefully, something new that just isn't available. I sense that I am rambling.

The beef jerky was much needed. We have some things going on and collateral is always a good thing. Now, all I need to complete my quest for domination in Iraq is a case of Monster! Don't take that as a request to send a case - seriously, that isn't needed and it would cost way too much of the American greenback.

Two of my fellow EWOs - who are taking year long vacations in Baghdad - are trying to expand my horizon and get me to read and appreciate poetry. The first part I have succeeded at - I can read. The second endeavor is a much more difficult task. With some hint of excitement, I have come to the following conclusion: I don't get poetry, don't want to, and just don't care. I'm sure that comes as a big shock. I'd much rather argue my status as a Padre fanatic and lament in what has become the constant one run game, which has to be decided in the 9th inning. Now if I can only figure out a way to parlay that into a six figure job with the Padres! John Mooers, Sandy Alderson, Kevin Towers - if your out there and want to offer me a job - yes, I'll beg ... SIGN ME UP!!!

Pimped Out

This blog takes on a new life of its own as time goes by ... What was once an informational dialogue has now shifted gears and become a place to advertise for "other" projects. So in my best Big Lebowski moment I'll have to say that, "This aggression will not stand."

Damn Padres - not much more that I can say about them. They go from the best record in the NL to loosing the the Marines in back to back 6-5 games. So when is Towers going to trade for another bat?

Not a whole lot happened today. I am pretty pleased with my lack of achievement. You stay classy San Diego ...

Comments are good

I must admit that the best part of this blog is the comments that are left in response to my inane thoughts. Most I understand - and some I don't. In no particular order I'd like to address some of the ones from yesterday:

Duane - You must be sniffing too much of little Kenny's bio hazard. What in the heck is your comment "Which hemisphere" referring to? Thanks SHIPMATE! And do you really want me to start on you about your athletic prowess ... I mean you were the original triple threat! Enough said. I'll start by commenting about your football abilities. Sorry pal - the Steelers made a wise decision not to draft you after your self proclaimed terrific 2/c year of flag football at USNA. I heard that Coach Cower came to personally scout you - however, after about the 4th time that Tony beat you deep - he packed it up and went to Ohio to scout Big Ben. If you look closely at the draft reports it did come down to you or Rothelisberger (I can't spell). Sorry to say, it looks that the Terrible Towel Franchise made the right call. At least you're a Naval hero now destined to be a CO. We are so lucky to know that you'll be out and about in the littoral for years to come.
What's your retort? I sat the bench on the baseball team? You'll have to do better than that. And to leave on a good note - yes, you can beat me with your eyes closed in all bar sports.

Uncle KC - I don't have nice things to say to you - I'm flat out jealous. I think the reason that I am now skinnier than Duane's fat ass is the lack of beer. It is just not fair. However, I am glad to learn that my cousins are all doing well. Spain and Grad School? How am I supposed to compete with that?

Meg - C'mon Tennis? Really? I mean even the CAVS vs SPURS NBA Championship Game One had higher television ratings! The Neilson Ratings for the game last night was at an all time low and still beat out the Women's Tennis final by several percentage points. Heck, Hippie Skippie the cartoon draws better on Saturday mornings. I will concede that the Men's Final will have better numbers - but that doesn't make me a sexist - nor does it make it right. Maybe the drama of Roger winning the missing link on his majors quest will help. I doubt it though.

Dad - You'd think that since you are responsible for my conception that I'd give you a pass. Don't count on it. First, I'd like to be clear that golf has merit, especially if you consider that you have to be in good financial shape to play the game on a routine basis. That notwithstanding, it still is hard to give absolute credit when you play a game that is arguably more fun when you drink beer and/or can play with a lighted cigar.

Next to address your comments about my weight - I wonder what side of the family that I get my frame from - Thanks for that one. Byron and Sean are gigantic and you I ... well? Additionally, I was never larger than 210 and that was after I had arthroscopic knee surgery. I mean it is hard to compare me now to a time after plebe summer where I was a whopping 165. Those times are long gone.

Izzy - Colleen is still faster pushing your kids around in a double stroller than I am with a jet pack strapped to my large arse.

Things are good - thanks for keeping up with my various rants. Until next time ...

Nice day for a run

The human body is an amazing thing. It say that b/c I am simply amazed at how acclimated I've become to the weather. This morning, as is my unusual disposition, I decided to get up early and go for a run. We live at a place that has a lake in the center of the compound and it makes for nice piece of real estate to run around. It was also nice not to have to worry about the MIDN running past you at the speed of light. Amazing at it may seem, most Marines aren't avid runners - yet they all run like the wind. They seem to focus all efforts on throwing steel up at a ridiculous pace. I threw on my IPod, turned on some of my eclectic tunes and I off I went. The Marine standard is three miles and most days I am lucky to get that far before I want to keel over and die. Obvious statement time: I don't run as fast as Colleen. For some reason today I took it up a few notches and did 5 miles. I was thoroughly exhausted - but at the same time it was a great way to start the day. I'm doing my best to get back to MIDN weight. As some might recall, I left for this endeavour a whole lot of heavy. I think I have hit my stride and should be significantly smaller than when I left. My goal is to weigh less than my meat head brothers. The gauntlet has been thrown ... Byron and Sean, what are you going to do about it? If history has anything to offer than I'd say - not a whole lot. Zing. For the casual observer, Byron, Sean and I are slightly competitive and for the record, they are a combined 0 - 1,000,000 in efforts to dethrone me (and that number continues to grow). To be fair, Byron is 1 for 1 against Sean and has since retired. I guess if we all played Tennis then they might have a shot.

Range Day

I spent a good deal of time today on the range. Now not to be insulting, but the range is where you go to fire your weapon for proficiency. Don't go thinking that the range is some lovely place where you reminisce with Roy Rogers and the gang. And of course, we had to make it as realistic as possible - so we went in the mid afternoon wearing our 70 + pounds of gear. Additionally, to paint the scene correctly, I'd have to mention that it was about 120 degrees. So I think you can fathom my next comment - It was hot. I thought that it was going to be a miserable experience and then I fired my weapon and of course all three bullets didn't even hit the target - much less the silhouette I was aiming at. Great start. The Gunner, USMC Chief Warrant Officer (think poster child for old crusty Marine), comes over and says, " Let me see that rifle, and see if we can't unscrew you." So now all the attention is on me and I am feeling about two inches tall. He throws in a dip and grunts a little and proceeds to take the firing position. Next, he proceeds to fire three well aimed shots - and misses just as badly as I did previously. My confidence rises and I make a point to remind everyone that the "Gunner missed too!" The Gunner was very calm and muttered profanity and passively passes my M16 back and says "interesting" as he walks off. About 5 mins later, he comes back, and makes a slew of adjustments and low and behold I am back on track.

After that, we went through a myriad of drills and moved onto the scoring portion. We tallied up the scores and wouldn't you know it - I out shot the three Army Soldiers that work w/ me. Good times. Who says that Navy guys can't shoot? I guess all the time I spent on John L Hall playing the Navy SEAL video game paid off. Go figure.

Regional Dialect?

Today I was thinking (yes, that is a scary thought) about a comment made by the local Iraqi Police Chief at one of our meetings yesterday. Background first – the majority of the Iraqi Army are Shia and the local population is Sunni. The majority of the Government of Iraq is Shia … the discourse between the two is well documented. The reality of it all, at least in Fallujah, is that particular argument has lost its charm. The age of miracles is upon us --- with minimum profanity --- the IA and IP are getting along and making the city a better place. At any rate, the IP Chief was talking about the increased cooperation between the two sides; however, his biggest complaint about this whole process is that he can’t understand the regional dialects of the IA. In layman’s terms it is the whole tomato vs. tomat-toe, potato vs. patat-toe, ant vs. aunt discussion. The reason I chuckle is because one of the higher up staff officers – made a side comment about how it all sounded like gibberish to him. I guess it’s the fact that he lives in a cocoon or has never left suburbia. Yet, after he smoked yet another non-filtered cigarette, he talked about how all American’s understand one another. Guess he’s never been to a NASCAR race. So that whole North vs South thing, or Boston vs. New York or just Texas in general thing didn’t register. Notice I didn’t even comment on his complete lack of comprehension of the Arabic language – a bridge too far.

So now that the keystone has been laid I’ll get back to whatever point I was originally making: Word/Sentence Construction – it is an amazing thing. Combine that statement with the fact that I am in the Navy serving with a Marine Unit … I have been exposed to some very interesting colloquialism’s and/or clichés … whatever you want to call them. Among my favorites:

1) Yut - Yes
2) Roger – Ok
3) Oh – rah – At a loss for words
4) Arah – rah (very manly deep Oh – rah) – Motivated way of saying ok
5) Err – think more along the lines of telling someone to go pack sand
6) Devil Dog – discreet way to call a Marine an a – hole. Along the same lines of calling a fellow Sailor a Shipmate.

Now this is not just a military centric idea of having retarded words that make perfect sense - take for example of my very own personal favorites for everyday use:

1) I smell what you are cooking - and I like it
2) I like where you head’s at (courtesy of Ben)
3) Yay - sa (Yes - courtesy of Colleen – must say that conjunction w/ a very high voice)
4) Foolio (I've since been corrected - Colleen gets the credit for this one)
5) `Dres – Padres, Friars, aka “the best team in Baseball” or the team that Tony Built
6) Put that rudder amidships (slow your roll cowboy – relax)

Some honorable mention phrases:

1) Permission granted to go to Condition 1 (round chambered – meaning go get some)
2) Don’t make me pull my bolt to the rear (another weapons condition related phrase – basically, you pull the bolt to rear which seats the round and makes it ready to fire (once the weapon is off safe).
3) Cry my baby eyes out ... Colleen again off the top rope

The power of prose is amazing – this little ditty is nothing like I envisioned when I first took fingers to keyboard. Writers block or is it a lack of talent form the writer to convey a message – who really knows?

P.S. You can't support the troops and not support the mission

Sunday Surf and Turf

Sunday is a good day around the desert of Fallujah, as it marks an rather tasty meal of seafood and steak. Tonight I feasted on lobster tails, crab balls, and shrimp. I even took it up a notch and had some ice cream. You'll be proud to note that it was only the fourth time since I arrived in country that I broke down and had some dessert. Yes, it was good.

The day was also marked with the arrival of two packages. The first being from the Coronado Woods' filled w/ movies, candy, and a copy of the San Diego Paper. The paper was a very nice touch - got to read some local accounts of the Padres. I liked the editorial by Nick Capedo discussing whether or not the fences should be moved closer to home plate at Petco. I understand both sides 1) move them in and create more offense 2) keep them where they are and loose some of the advantage for the pitchers. If I were given a vote, I'd say that we should keep them where they are. The argument against me will be that we will never be able to attract a big name slugger. I say that is bull crap b/c we won't pay an established slugger a 100 million plus (similar to Soriano or Carlos Lee) and that is why we won't have a big home run guy. Moving the fences in just negates our pitching advantages ... Enough on the Padres. I seem to be in a Padres bender the last few days. The second package (not second in effort and thought) was a box of books from Aunt KC in North Carolina - from the Moody side of the family. It was pretty funny, I opened the package and standing next to me was a PFC (E2) and he saw the Lord of the Rings books and jumped all over them. Additionally, there were several fishing magazines and they were gobbled up in a heart beat. My unit is based out of North Carolina and there was another LCpl (E3) who is the self-proclaimed fisherman of the millennium (he fishes the local lake on Camp every night) and he was thrilled to finally have something worth reading. It was the classic scene where you had one Marine chastising the other for being a sci-fi geek and the other calling him a redneck fool. It made me laugh. Thank you both for the care packages. You wouldn't believe what a giant positive impact mail has on morale. It means a lot to all of us here.

To answer Duane's question ... I don't avoid email all together now, this is just a far more effective use of my time. Who wants to get a generic email addressed to a large group of people. It almost feels as though I'm giving a speech. I'll save email to serve answering direct questions of things of a more personal nature. This blog creates a forum to talk about the generalities of the day. On a selfish layer it affords me an opportunity to diary this year. Hopefully, I'll be able to look back and remember specific events; vice, the general haze that surrounds a deployment. I am sure that all of can think of long periods of time where we can't conceptualize what we actually did. This is my charge - to remember this unique time. I mean how often does some random SWO get to walk around in a desert urban combat environment. I just wish that I could have a little more security on this site so that I could detail the classified events. It it not like we have a SIPR network that I can tap into back in the states. Enough on that.

I managed to exceed my goal of doing very little today. All the routine reports have been put to rest and now are sitting in another email account. I think by all accounts our endeavours last week have been ruled a success. I suspect that some news has actually leaked out on some of our efforts. Further, I am sure that they all are far from the truth - but we'll take the good with the bad. Things are happening out here and I am sure that ya'll would be pleased with the tangible and measurable effects. The end state is in mind and we are all well aware that the clock is ticking - the enemy knows this all too well. I sound like one of those cheesy military commercials. I am brain washed. It is going to be hard to go back to a ship after all of this. For Matt, I still have no thoughts or desires of getting a USMC tattoo!

The shining light for today is that some of the gents that I came to the desert with are starting to rotate out on leave. It is exciting to think that my ticket will be up soon. Two weeks back in the states hardly seems like enough; however, sometimes you have to take what you can get. T Tom - I can make a wedding from half a planet away ... MD/MS an exam or two ... give me a break! Yes, I'm calling you out and yes, there will be more ...

Monsters and the Mail

I imagine that sending Monsters via the mail is no different that anything else. However, I would further imagine that the cost might be prohibitive. Tennis still stinks. I did see the highlights of the French Open as I skipped through the channels earlier this evening. I just don't think that it is all that interesting. Yes, the Williams' sisters are ousted once again from the French Open. It might be all part of some American scam whereby we just don't like the French so we (Americans) don't play well on the clay.

Today was paperwork day. I spent a ridiculous amount of time writing reports that everyone has to have and everyone's boss is waiting on me to read. Somehow I doubt that is the case. It is hard to get excited when everything is the most important thing on the plate. I think that I have done well to this point attitude wise; however, today I felt myself slipping. I'll admit that I am getting tired. At several instances, I keep wanting to insert some utterly sarcastic and equally ridiculous comment to see if the reader actually catches my drift. Upon reflection, I decide against it b/c explaining it would be too much of a hassle. A keen sense of humor isn't something that most packed.

I can't wait to get my break from all the fun that the sand has to offer. It will be nice to get back to the states. It is amazing what being in a place like Iraq will do for ones perspective. We think nothing of plumbing and cold water. Those two commodities are simply just under appreciated. Can you imagine living w/out those things? Just think how miserable we all were during Katrina. Now recalibrate when that type of living is good living. If you are able, then now you can say that you know what it is like to be in Iraq. The heat really isn't that big of a factor b/c there is nothing that you can do about it and your body really does get used to it. No wonder they all wear sandals.

Hopefully, tomorrow is just another lazy day in the sun. If only, I too, could have validated Spanish ... then I could insert a clever ditty.

Test

Test

Flurry of Activity

I am glad that yesterday's post sparked so many comments. None were foolish - yes, that means even those of you who reside in Long Beach. A few notes to start 1) The Taco uniforms need to come back - now that is distinctive style 2) Lacrosse is cool - but who really cares 3) Tennis - give me a break! When I think of tennis I think of a) Martina Hingis getting stabbed b) Andre Agassi and the Cannon Rebel commercials c) Just look at how that guy Nadal dresses d) The Williams' sisters grunting. The picture that I am painting w/ tennis is the sport has no appeal.

Additionally, I'd like to highlight the fact the I am a Khalil Greene fan; however, if we could get a big bat at his expense - I'd say ok. Yesterday, we claim Hiram Bocachica - whose he? Is that the best that we can do? ***Editors Note*** Adam Dunn is left handed - I still think that he is a guy who we could get and service our power needs. Big win for the Padres last night. Hopefully, they can steamroll the Nationals and put some distance between the Snakes and Brooklyn Draft Dodgers.

Today, I spent the the vast majority of the day dealing with the same stuff that I've been wrapped up with the last few days. Sorry that I can't expound in greater detail. I ran into my ENS buddy today and I think that little situation is resolved. He's been beaten to a pulp. I can't say that I feel bad for him.

Question - has anyone tried the energy drink Monster? Well, they are flying off the shelf here. They are these gigantic energy drinks that are like liquid crack. You want to talk about an energy rush? They are like $2 a pop - but I have a feeling that they will be worth more than a bag of beef jerky in the near future. My two Army Sgts love them. I tried one today and I am still all fired up nearly two hours later.