Nice day for a run

The human body is an amazing thing. It say that b/c I am simply amazed at how acclimated I've become to the weather. This morning, as is my unusual disposition, I decided to get up early and go for a run. We live at a place that has a lake in the center of the compound and it makes for nice piece of real estate to run around. It was also nice not to have to worry about the MIDN running past you at the speed of light. Amazing at it may seem, most Marines aren't avid runners - yet they all run like the wind. They seem to focus all efforts on throwing steel up at a ridiculous pace. I threw on my IPod, turned on some of my eclectic tunes and I off I went. The Marine standard is three miles and most days I am lucky to get that far before I want to keel over and die. Obvious statement time: I don't run as fast as Colleen. For some reason today I took it up a few notches and did 5 miles. I was thoroughly exhausted - but at the same time it was a great way to start the day. I'm doing my best to get back to MIDN weight. As some might recall, I left for this endeavour a whole lot of heavy. I think I have hit my stride and should be significantly smaller than when I left. My goal is to weigh less than my meat head brothers. The gauntlet has been thrown ... Byron and Sean, what are you going to do about it? If history has anything to offer than I'd say - not a whole lot. Zing. For the casual observer, Byron, Sean and I are slightly competitive and for the record, they are a combined 0 - 1,000,000 in efforts to dethrone me (and that number continues to grow). To be fair, Byron is 1 for 1 against Sean and has since retired. I guess if we all played Tennis then they might have a shot.

Range Day

I spent a good deal of time today on the range. Now not to be insulting, but the range is where you go to fire your weapon for proficiency. Don't go thinking that the range is some lovely place where you reminisce with Roy Rogers and the gang. And of course, we had to make it as realistic as possible - so we went in the mid afternoon wearing our 70 + pounds of gear. Additionally, to paint the scene correctly, I'd have to mention that it was about 120 degrees. So I think you can fathom my next comment - It was hot. I thought that it was going to be a miserable experience and then I fired my weapon and of course all three bullets didn't even hit the target - much less the silhouette I was aiming at. Great start. The Gunner, USMC Chief Warrant Officer (think poster child for old crusty Marine), comes over and says, " Let me see that rifle, and see if we can't unscrew you." So now all the attention is on me and I am feeling about two inches tall. He throws in a dip and grunts a little and proceeds to take the firing position. Next, he proceeds to fire three well aimed shots - and misses just as badly as I did previously. My confidence rises and I make a point to remind everyone that the "Gunner missed too!" The Gunner was very calm and muttered profanity and passively passes my M16 back and says "interesting" as he walks off. About 5 mins later, he comes back, and makes a slew of adjustments and low and behold I am back on track.

After that, we went through a myriad of drills and moved onto the scoring portion. We tallied up the scores and wouldn't you know it - I out shot the three Army Soldiers that work w/ me. Good times. Who says that Navy guys can't shoot? I guess all the time I spent on John L Hall playing the Navy SEAL video game paid off. Go figure.

Regional Dialect?

Today I was thinking (yes, that is a scary thought) about a comment made by the local Iraqi Police Chief at one of our meetings yesterday. Background first – the majority of the Iraqi Army are Shia and the local population is Sunni. The majority of the Government of Iraq is Shia … the discourse between the two is well documented. The reality of it all, at least in Fallujah, is that particular argument has lost its charm. The age of miracles is upon us --- with minimum profanity --- the IA and IP are getting along and making the city a better place. At any rate, the IP Chief was talking about the increased cooperation between the two sides; however, his biggest complaint about this whole process is that he can’t understand the regional dialects of the IA. In layman’s terms it is the whole tomato vs. tomat-toe, potato vs. patat-toe, ant vs. aunt discussion. The reason I chuckle is because one of the higher up staff officers – made a side comment about how it all sounded like gibberish to him. I guess it’s the fact that he lives in a cocoon or has never left suburbia. Yet, after he smoked yet another non-filtered cigarette, he talked about how all American’s understand one another. Guess he’s never been to a NASCAR race. So that whole North vs South thing, or Boston vs. New York or just Texas in general thing didn’t register. Notice I didn’t even comment on his complete lack of comprehension of the Arabic language – a bridge too far.

So now that the keystone has been laid I’ll get back to whatever point I was originally making: Word/Sentence Construction – it is an amazing thing. Combine that statement with the fact that I am in the Navy serving with a Marine Unit … I have been exposed to some very interesting colloquialism’s and/or clichés … whatever you want to call them. Among my favorites:

1) Yut - Yes
2) Roger – Ok
3) Oh – rah – At a loss for words
4) Arah – rah (very manly deep Oh – rah) – Motivated way of saying ok
5) Err – think more along the lines of telling someone to go pack sand
6) Devil Dog – discreet way to call a Marine an a – hole. Along the same lines of calling a fellow Sailor a Shipmate.

Now this is not just a military centric idea of having retarded words that make perfect sense - take for example of my very own personal favorites for everyday use:

1) I smell what you are cooking - and I like it
2) I like where you head’s at (courtesy of Ben)
3) Yay - sa (Yes - courtesy of Colleen – must say that conjunction w/ a very high voice)
4) Foolio (I've since been corrected - Colleen gets the credit for this one)
5) `Dres – Padres, Friars, aka “the best team in Baseball” or the team that Tony Built
6) Put that rudder amidships (slow your roll cowboy – relax)

Some honorable mention phrases:

1) Permission granted to go to Condition 1 (round chambered – meaning go get some)
2) Don’t make me pull my bolt to the rear (another weapons condition related phrase – basically, you pull the bolt to rear which seats the round and makes it ready to fire (once the weapon is off safe).
3) Cry my baby eyes out ... Colleen again off the top rope

The power of prose is amazing – this little ditty is nothing like I envisioned when I first took fingers to keyboard. Writers block or is it a lack of talent form the writer to convey a message – who really knows?

P.S. You can't support the troops and not support the mission

Sunday Surf and Turf

Sunday is a good day around the desert of Fallujah, as it marks an rather tasty meal of seafood and steak. Tonight I feasted on lobster tails, crab balls, and shrimp. I even took it up a notch and had some ice cream. You'll be proud to note that it was only the fourth time since I arrived in country that I broke down and had some dessert. Yes, it was good.

The day was also marked with the arrival of two packages. The first being from the Coronado Woods' filled w/ movies, candy, and a copy of the San Diego Paper. The paper was a very nice touch - got to read some local accounts of the Padres. I liked the editorial by Nick Capedo discussing whether or not the fences should be moved closer to home plate at Petco. I understand both sides 1) move them in and create more offense 2) keep them where they are and loose some of the advantage for the pitchers. If I were given a vote, I'd say that we should keep them where they are. The argument against me will be that we will never be able to attract a big name slugger. I say that is bull crap b/c we won't pay an established slugger a 100 million plus (similar to Soriano or Carlos Lee) and that is why we won't have a big home run guy. Moving the fences in just negates our pitching advantages ... Enough on the Padres. I seem to be in a Padres bender the last few days. The second package (not second in effort and thought) was a box of books from Aunt KC in North Carolina - from the Moody side of the family. It was pretty funny, I opened the package and standing next to me was a PFC (E2) and he saw the Lord of the Rings books and jumped all over them. Additionally, there were several fishing magazines and they were gobbled up in a heart beat. My unit is based out of North Carolina and there was another LCpl (E3) who is the self-proclaimed fisherman of the millennium (he fishes the local lake on Camp every night) and he was thrilled to finally have something worth reading. It was the classic scene where you had one Marine chastising the other for being a sci-fi geek and the other calling him a redneck fool. It made me laugh. Thank you both for the care packages. You wouldn't believe what a giant positive impact mail has on morale. It means a lot to all of us here.

To answer Duane's question ... I don't avoid email all together now, this is just a far more effective use of my time. Who wants to get a generic email addressed to a large group of people. It almost feels as though I'm giving a speech. I'll save email to serve answering direct questions of things of a more personal nature. This blog creates a forum to talk about the generalities of the day. On a selfish layer it affords me an opportunity to diary this year. Hopefully, I'll be able to look back and remember specific events; vice, the general haze that surrounds a deployment. I am sure that all of can think of long periods of time where we can't conceptualize what we actually did. This is my charge - to remember this unique time. I mean how often does some random SWO get to walk around in a desert urban combat environment. I just wish that I could have a little more security on this site so that I could detail the classified events. It it not like we have a SIPR network that I can tap into back in the states. Enough on that.

I managed to exceed my goal of doing very little today. All the routine reports have been put to rest and now are sitting in another email account. I think by all accounts our endeavours last week have been ruled a success. I suspect that some news has actually leaked out on some of our efforts. Further, I am sure that they all are far from the truth - but we'll take the good with the bad. Things are happening out here and I am sure that ya'll would be pleased with the tangible and measurable effects. The end state is in mind and we are all well aware that the clock is ticking - the enemy knows this all too well. I sound like one of those cheesy military commercials. I am brain washed. It is going to be hard to go back to a ship after all of this. For Matt, I still have no thoughts or desires of getting a USMC tattoo!

The shining light for today is that some of the gents that I came to the desert with are starting to rotate out on leave. It is exciting to think that my ticket will be up soon. Two weeks back in the states hardly seems like enough; however, sometimes you have to take what you can get. T Tom - I can make a wedding from half a planet away ... MD/MS an exam or two ... give me a break! Yes, I'm calling you out and yes, there will be more ...

Monsters and the Mail

I imagine that sending Monsters via the mail is no different that anything else. However, I would further imagine that the cost might be prohibitive. Tennis still stinks. I did see the highlights of the French Open as I skipped through the channels earlier this evening. I just don't think that it is all that interesting. Yes, the Williams' sisters are ousted once again from the French Open. It might be all part of some American scam whereby we just don't like the French so we (Americans) don't play well on the clay.

Today was paperwork day. I spent a ridiculous amount of time writing reports that everyone has to have and everyone's boss is waiting on me to read. Somehow I doubt that is the case. It is hard to get excited when everything is the most important thing on the plate. I think that I have done well to this point attitude wise; however, today I felt myself slipping. I'll admit that I am getting tired. At several instances, I keep wanting to insert some utterly sarcastic and equally ridiculous comment to see if the reader actually catches my drift. Upon reflection, I decide against it b/c explaining it would be too much of a hassle. A keen sense of humor isn't something that most packed.

I can't wait to get my break from all the fun that the sand has to offer. It will be nice to get back to the states. It is amazing what being in a place like Iraq will do for ones perspective. We think nothing of plumbing and cold water. Those two commodities are simply just under appreciated. Can you imagine living w/out those things? Just think how miserable we all were during Katrina. Now recalibrate when that type of living is good living. If you are able, then now you can say that you know what it is like to be in Iraq. The heat really isn't that big of a factor b/c there is nothing that you can do about it and your body really does get used to it. No wonder they all wear sandals.

Hopefully, tomorrow is just another lazy day in the sun. If only, I too, could have validated Spanish ... then I could insert a clever ditty.

Test

Test

Flurry of Activity

I am glad that yesterday's post sparked so many comments. None were foolish - yes, that means even those of you who reside in Long Beach. A few notes to start 1) The Taco uniforms need to come back - now that is distinctive style 2) Lacrosse is cool - but who really cares 3) Tennis - give me a break! When I think of tennis I think of a) Martina Hingis getting stabbed b) Andre Agassi and the Cannon Rebel commercials c) Just look at how that guy Nadal dresses d) The Williams' sisters grunting. The picture that I am painting w/ tennis is the sport has no appeal.

Additionally, I'd like to highlight the fact the I am a Khalil Greene fan; however, if we could get a big bat at his expense - I'd say ok. Yesterday, we claim Hiram Bocachica - whose he? Is that the best that we can do? ***Editors Note*** Adam Dunn is left handed - I still think that he is a guy who we could get and service our power needs. Big win for the Padres last night. Hopefully, they can steamroll the Nationals and put some distance between the Snakes and Brooklyn Draft Dodgers.

Today, I spent the the vast majority of the day dealing with the same stuff that I've been wrapped up with the last few days. Sorry that I can't expound in greater detail. I ran into my ENS buddy today and I think that little situation is resolved. He's been beaten to a pulp. I can't say that I feel bad for him.

Question - has anyone tried the energy drink Monster? Well, they are flying off the shelf here. They are these gigantic energy drinks that are like liquid crack. You want to talk about an energy rush? They are like $2 a pop - but I have a feeling that they will be worth more than a bag of beef jerky in the near future. My two Army Sgts love them. I tried one today and I am still all fired up nearly two hours later.